Team Rockets Crotch
by Faye Coon
Summary: Our Villains Jessie, a Vampy Transexual, and James, a Colorful Homo, Scheme to capture Pikachu at the Strip bar/Gym Disguised as Erotic dancers, Will they get the coveted TM 'Lap Dance? Find out and review! And Enjoi!


A big fire burned energetically out in the evening landscape of the beautiful forest, while our villains sat around holding out marshmallows to the flame

**A/N: Hola chico! Please enjoi my deeply loved Jessie and James get themselves into trashy and amusing trouble. You know you'd do the same… again, enjoi!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or anything like that… but if I could, Id definitely own a Vulpix!**

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A big fire burned energetically out in the evening landscape of the beautiful forest, while our villains sat around holding out marshmallows to the flame. It was a noisy summer evening, the venonats buzzed incessantly against the star studded sky, while the fire crackled and purred, Meowth drew a deflated look.

"Eh, these marshmallows are cooking like tires in a refrigerator"

Jessie was sitting legs crossed in a turned over log, pouting with her head in her hands, marshmallow sitting on the wayside. She propped her head up and girlishly bellowed,

"Meowth, it's a wonder we could even afford a bag of marshmallows, cant you try to be a little more grateful! Look at James!"

They looked over at James, who was passed out cuddling a pikachu stuffed animal on the hard deciduous floor. Meowth and Jessie let out a reciprocal "eh…"

Jessie sighed and closed her eyes, tossing her marshmallows over at James' face, "WAKE UP YOU IDIOT! We have scheming to do!!"

James popped up stupidly, looking left and right "Huh? What? Jessie! Why'd you have to wake me up? I was dreaming of the most darling pokemon capture plan!"

Meowth leaned in, nipping off his mal heated marshmallow, "Yea Sour-Nuts, why don't ya share this brilliant idea of yers, huh?"

Jessie skeptically cocked her head as James stood up and began,

"well you see, Ash and his gang will be here in town by tomorrow night to fight at the Gym. But this is no ordinary Gym, it's a Nudie Gym! Ah ha ha ha…"

Jessie slapped James on the side of the head, "You imbecile, just go on with the scheme already, there are pokemon to be caught, so out with it!"

"Ok, ok Jessie… that hurt… Anyway the Gym leader is a star stripper, I hear she even entertained for the pokemon leagues very own Lance! That woman can work a pole better than I can work that sweet cock of brocks in the heat of a mid July's Porta potty!"

Jessie popped up in disgust, "you Butt Badgering Queer, we don't need to hear the details of your Pokemon hero erotica, just get on with the plan for chrisakes!"

James huffed and crossed his arms, throwing his nose up at Jessie's retort, "ok FINE! Now back to my scheme. Candy, the Gym leader, fights with high agility slut pokemon. Like Jynx, Persian, Hitmonchan, Clefairy, and they all use one special and devastating pokemon move, 'Lap Dance'. This is a 'Normal' attack that causes the damage of, say, seismic toss, only it paralyzes the enemy 100 of the time… Now think Jessie, if we were to get a hold of that TM what we could do to Pikachu! Ash couldn't stop us, not even that tight lipped Misty could do anything. So what do you say guys?"

Meowth and Jessie sat in slight awe, as they looked directly at one another and than blankly at James, they replied in unison "Brilliant!"

Then after a brief silence Meowth put his paw to his mouth, "But how exactly are we s'posed to get that TM James?"

James smiled mischievously, "So glad you asked Meowth… You see, we're going to disguise ourselves as strippers."

"WHAT!?" Jessie and meowth once again sang in unison, and then Jessie spat, "What are you thinking James? I haven't had my surgery yet (And at this rate I never will), If I put a thong on, all my junk will be bulging out! I don't want the whole Pokemon community to know I have a penis! Its bad enough the boss knows I'm a Transsexual!"

James let out a hardy yet femmey laugh, "Oh Jessie, nobody really cares you're a transsexual! And this is why we have duct tape. I think we can get bikinis at the thrift store and make some glamorous alterations, as a matter of fact I have a whole bag full of sequins in my backpack!"

"Er, that's all well and good James, but are you saying that we dress like strippers, invade the Nudie bar gym, and rummage for the TM and just HOPE that we get lucky enough to find it?" Jessie fumed

"Yea, that's pretty much it. But I do happed to know its somewhere in her dressing room" James yawned and picked up his marshmallow stick, applying another marshmallow and thrusting it into the flame.

Team Rocket seemed very satisfied with this plan, and all bid each other a goodnight and laid their colorful heads down to rest for the rest of the evening, Venomoths fluttering listlessly around the fire poke at the rockets' heads, little to their poke-scoundrel selves…

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Morning arose and all the marshmallows had been picked at and swallowed by Ratattas in the night. Meowth was the first to rise. He mournfully glowered down at Jessie, splayed across the ground, one boot in James' mouth, the other nestled in the charcoal of last nights camp fire. James drooling over Jessie's foot, again cuddling that stupid stuffed pikachu toy.

"WAKE UP YA LOSERS!"

Jessie and James exploded up on their feet in a paranoid dysfunctional state, Jessie moaned in her man voice "Who's there?" and James squealed, "Mom, Im not ready to go to school…"

Before they knew it they were packing up camp and walking down to the city major. It was a generally relaxed and silent city, so it was a little odd to imagine such a booming strip joint lay in the center of it, 300 yards from city hall no less!

Jessie rubbed her ass, hair crazy and untamed, plodding over the sidewalks in her unwashed Rockets' outfit, "You know I could've really gone for a nice massage today, but no, we have to hunt for Pokemon today. Today, and EVERY day. A girl just wants to take a long nice hot bubble bath, maybe get her nails done, her eyebrows waxed, her ass shaved…" As Jessie muses James spots the thrift store and jumps up in a gay euphoria.

"Yay! Jessie, Jessie, look in the window, their Purrrrr-fect!!" Jessie and Meowth gazed into the glass and gasped at what they saw, two animal print Brazilian bikinis, one in Tiger print the other in Leopard (both are make believe animals in the Pokemon world!).

Jessie glared at James "How do you know they'll even fit, huh? You've gained a little weight… ugh, why do I just figure that you wouldn't be wearing a men's Stripper thong? : sigh : get out the wallet..."

James excitedly zoomed into the thrift store and out not a moment later, hungrily savoring the stripper uniforms, "I got em'!" Jessie gave a defeated look and stared away, "Well, lets customize those beauties, pull out the sequins…" The rockets stalked passed the shopping area of this town and sat at the park perfecting their outfits.

Meowth was doing most of the grunt work and wasn't taking nicely to it, "You guys are such a fucking bowl of fruit loops! To think that some people think you two are an item, HA! If only they knew!" Jessie jumped, "Hey, you Cunty Cat, don't you speak so loudly about… that, if we can we want to keep them thinking that. Now finish your sequins!"

"Why I outta…" but Meowth did nothing but continue to sequinify and alter the bikinis.

Finally the trio completed their task and realized they had to get dressed and go! It was already 4:00 pm, Ash and friends would be in town by 6, at the gym by 7! So they pranced on over to a McDonalds and occupied the women's bathroom, Meowth standing in front of it to shoo away any bladder leaking ladies from entering. After a few minutes of swishing and swooshing James appeared out of a stall looking incredibly ridiculous, tissue breasts sagging out and all, "Oh, Jessie, its your turn!"

Jessies stall opened up and out she came, glamorously strutting out in front of the buger smeared glass mirrors, turning and pivoting on her 'whore heels', and as James looked her up and down, he gasped, "Jessie! Where did you get those!?" Jessie had scarlet nipple pasties with tastles on and a rhinestone encrusted scarlet goddess thong on and red fishnets up to mid thigh, and a black lace garter, "What, too much? I guess I never told you…"

James gave a quizzical look and bent his hand forward in a faggy way, "Well hunny, tell me!" And Jessie gave a sexy pout and burdened her lips with blood red lipstick, "I remember it so clearly… Long ago when I was just a boy… er, girl, I had just been kicked out of Pokemon nursing school and I was… so cold… so lonely." Jessie stood there holding herself shivering, eyes closed in that classic Pokemon memory recall.

She was transformed in another place, as a slightly younger woman dressed in rags shivering outside of Pokemon nursing school, "And I was hungry, I had nowhere in the whole world to go, I thought that life had forgotten poor stupid Jessie. It was then I was walking alone down by Main street at night that I came across… a most peculiar place…"

Jessie stood in awe, open mouth and hands plastered against the window as she saw two people fucking violently in a disgusting and most raunchy manner, she was seen by the man and she gasped and started running down the street, dropping the rags that clothed her body, and the door swung open. Jessie was shaking, tears rolling down her face as her naked body stood exposed to the pale snow that had just started to fall and the man who was encroaching. Closer, and closer, "It felt like my whole existence was in slow motion… and then he put his hand on my tit… and he told me, (Jessie puts on her man voice) 'I've been looking for a girl like you…' And from that day on he would bring me back to his home and screw me like a Charizard in mating season. Buying me beautiful clothes and giving me money… and… gifting me with these beautiful lingerie pieces"

Jessie is lying on a gold and black trimmed bed, contorting in hot pink undergarments, twisting and growling to this mans naked back, "I had the most expensive perfumes, the longest most ravishing nails… and then one day, I lost it all… too a much younger and more earnest little drag queen. GOD! To this day I want to cut out her pretty little tits and serve them to passersby's on a baguette!"

Jessie once again appeared sitting on the floor of a McDonald's bathroom (smelling of urine and period blood) sobbing quietly into her red gloved hands.

"Oh, Jessie, its alright, maybe someday we really will catch pikachu, and you can whore for any scum bag in Celadon you want!" James' feeble crooning helped little to ease Jessie's remorse, but she still got up and wiped he tears dry, silently putting back on her dark 'great lash' mascara.

"Ok James… For my Pimp… Lets Dance!"

"Jessie, we're stripping, remember?"

"Oh we could be riding a Mankeys little cock for all I care, lets just get on with it!"

And so the Trio headed out of McDonalds, onto the infringing Strip bar/Gym ahead. Can they fake it till they make it? They usually do… Join us on our next Chapter of Team Rockets Crotch!

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**A/N: Jee I hoped you all enjoyed this fic, it took my slow ass all week to come up with the balls to shove this into existence. BTW I am tranny, so I can be as raunchy as I please… hmph. R & R please, I'll R & R back, cus Im a LADY…. LMAO! Peace folks! Any comments or ideas welcomed :D**


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